No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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