she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
