OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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