office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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