Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
