Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize