Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
