Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
