I'm jealous of your bromance
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think i have two assholes
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize