After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
