here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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