Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish my penis had an off switch
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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