i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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