I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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