I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
