Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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