no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
