I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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