Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Randomize
