woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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