You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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