Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
