I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
