hotel room ftw
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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