it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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