Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
