i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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