It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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