i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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