I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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