In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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