So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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