theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
