Screwed.edu
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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