I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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