Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
