I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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