I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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