Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
