Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
