So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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