Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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