And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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