do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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