I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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