I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
