First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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