never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
