They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
