I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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