I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Watching her eat just hurts me
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
