he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
