so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
