I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
