I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
