Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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