There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
