According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize