sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
