Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I AM VODKA MAN
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
