he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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