I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That's intense
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
