In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
