And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
