you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
