she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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