he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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