i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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