yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
