Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
