The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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