hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
