i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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