it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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