How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
