At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
