Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
