Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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